Tiger Woods Cheats Again. This Time On His Caddy

Not her! You'll have to go to the clinic.

Poor Steve Williams.  Tiger’s club bitch is upset that his boss kept him in the dark about all the Perkins waitress, porn stars, hostesses, and hookers he was banging.  Boo hoo.

Williams, a noted bully and complete douche bag, told a a New Zealand T.V. station, ” I’m a straight-up sort of person.  If I had known something was going on, the whistle would have been blown.”  Such betrayal!  Williams’ wife went on to claim that the couple are close with the soon-to-be-split Woods family, and there’s no way that Steve could have known, ” The four of us are so close,” she said. “He couldn’t know and not say something to Elin or myself.”  Sure honey, you keep believing that.  And all those creationists are right too.  The dinosaurs lived right alongside man ten thousand years ago.

I’ll give Williams credit.  He isn’t stupid.  Just by conservative estimates, Stevie makes upwards of a million dollars a year just on Tiger’s tournament winnings.  That doesn’t even crack the ice on the bonuses and endorsements he must earn. Tiger is the gravy train, and you don’t bite the hand that feeds.  So Stevie plays dumb about all the whores, Tiger comes back, and the money keeps on flowing.

Tiger will go back to catting around, and Stevie will still bully and yell at the very fans paying his salary.  And continue to get the teeth whitening he and Tiger seem to love.


Hummer Shutdown. Thank God This Isn’t What I Thought It Was.

"Damn, round eye make some sh*tty cars."

Detroit – GM is finally discontinuing this sign of ultimate douchiness.  In the late ’90’s and early 2000’s, the Hummer was the pinnacle car of tiny penises, and eventually became the symbol of GM’s bloated, soon-to-be bankrupt carcass.  Too bad for GM shareholders this move comes about 10 years too late.

The geniuses in Detroit tried to pawn off the brand to the Chinese, but couldn’t get the deal done.  I can only imagine what the Hummer would have morphed into in the hands of the wacky Chinese.   They would renamed it the “Super Happy Lucky Dragon Jumbo Auto Roller”, increased it in size about 10 fold, and made sure it burned enough fossil fuels to bring about the next ice age in a month.  I would have like to have seen that.