First thing’s first. Vin Scully is back for his 66th season calling Dodger baseball. It’s okay if that makes you excited in a “my pants fit tighter” kinda way. I feel the same.
Uncle Vin’s return means we get another season of gems like tonight’s final word on sabermetrics. For those who don’t know, sabermetrics looks at baseball from a purely statistical lens. Essentially, dudes who follow sabermetrics were rooting for the fucking machines in the Matrix trilogy. Actually, by the third film, I was rooting for the machines. ‘Matrix Revolutions’ was a pile of shit. Okay, back on topic.
During the end of his tenure with the Philadelphia Phillies, new Dodgers shortstop Jimmy Rollins was moved from the leadoff spot to 2nd in the batting order. Why? Because the numbers said so.
Uncle Vin doesn’t agree. Why? It doesn’t matter. He’s Vin Scully. He’s right, and sabermetrics is crap. End of debate.
Very quietly, Prince tweeted out a link to his new single, “Breakfast Can Wait”. Not so quietly, it may be the best album art in history.
It’s a screen grab of Dave Chappelle dressed as Prince, holding a plate of pancakes. My first reaction is to explain why this is funny, but that would stupid. Either you know it’s funny or it’s time to learn. Take a look at the video below and purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
For many Lakers fans this was it. The pinnacle. Basketball nirvana.
The 1987-1988 back-to-back championship teams with a bald Kareem, Magic in his prime, and A.C. Green’s jheri curl dripping all over the hardwood at the Fabulous Forum.
Incredibly, this Wheaties box featuring the greatest basketball team EVER (f*ck you 1996 Bulls) was found sitting on a table in a Vermont bookstore. I don’t know if this makes Vermont awesome or worthy of a tactical nuke. Probably both. The only thing I know about the state is it produces some righteous maple syrup.
However, there’s one thing supremely disturbing about the box. How the hell did Byron Scott end up with the most expensive real estate, front-and-center? Three of the all-time greats and they put one of the shittiest coaches in recent memory right in the middle? Lame.
Regardless, as the current Lakers squad screams toward disaster, please remember the good ‘ole days. There will not be a Lakers team on a Wheaties box for a long time.